As I was preparing to teach the first session of our All the Good bible study this week, I found myself frequently coming across the spiritual practice of journaling. I know for me, when I first think about journaling, I think of teenage girls sitting in their bedrooms writing about their crushes. But the reality is, journaling is so much more than that.
Journaling is a long-standing practice of reflection. Therapists and counselors tell their patients and clients to write as a way to sort out their thoughts and feelings. Many people journal simply to keep track of what they did and experienced in the day, a way to record their story. Some actually kept bound books; some wrote in the form of letters to loved ones. More recently, I find myself being reminded that journaling can be a spiritual practice that could be just as important as prayer or reading scripture.
John Wesley was a journal-er. He wrote daily and as time went by, wrote as often as every 15 minutes. He was writing so frequently that he developed a code for himself so that the act of journaling was not a burden, but a way to record what he was doing, thinking, and feeling so that by the end of the day he could effectively reflect. Everything from who he encountered to thoughts about God. It’s one of the reasons we can easily say what Wesley thought about so many different aspects of life, because he literally wrote it all down! John Wesley’s Sermons and Notes on the New Testament are part of the Doctrine of the United Methodist Church. Wesley’s journals help us to see the reasons behind changes and conclusions in his theology. We get to “watch” how life impacted Wesley’s view of God.
As someone who is constantly seeking to grow closer to God, I am feeling the need to try journaling, at least weekly, to unpack life and what it means for the ways I think about God and about others. I am finding myself in a place where things are changing, and I want to be able to look back and see that change, but also have a place and a reason to really sort things out. In the process of mentally preparing to do that (because it has been two weeks and I still haven’t started), I was reminded of a few different tools to help.
Part of John Wesley’s daily process of reflection was to ask himself the same carefully thought-out questions every day. He used them to track not only his experiences, but his spiritual growth and his spiritual struggles, which he could then take to his accountability groups to talk through. But, there are 22 of them… and I am not sure they ask what I’m looking for:
1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
3. Do I confidentially pass on to another what was told to me in confidence?
4. Can I be trusted?
5. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?
6. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
7. Did the Bible live in me today?
8. Do I give it time to speak to me everyday?
9. Am I enjoying prayer?
10. When did I last speak to someone else about my faith?
11. Do I pray about the money I spend?
12. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
13. Do I disobey God in anything?
14. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
15. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
16. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy, or distrustful?
17. How do I spend my spare time?
18. Am I proud?
19. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisees who despised the publican?
20. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I doing about it?
21. Do I grumble or complain constantly?
22. Is Christ real to me?
Some of these we should all be asking, like “Am I honest in all my acts and words?” Or, “do I disobey God in anything?” Or, “Is Christ real to me?” But I’m not sure I need or want to reflect on all of these daily, nor do I think they apply every day. For example, if it is my Sabbath day, I am NOT concerned about if I woke up on time.
In trying to find something I could use as a guide to help me on this reflective journey, I remembered that daily examines are not a “new thing!” Early church mothers and fathers (and I’m talking like 3rd or 4th century) often had a series of things they prayerfully reflected on. While I was in seminary, we talked in Church History about a man by the name of Ignatius from Spain. He is the considered to be the founder of the religious order of the Society of Jesus (The Jesuits) and sparked a movement that refocused on spiritual formation. The boiled down version of his examine is much broader that Wesley’s, which in some ways is a good thing. St. Ignatius’s questions are:
1. Where did I see God today?
2. What am I thankful for today?
3. What did I feel today?
4. What should I pray for?
5. How do I feel about tomorrow?
I think these questions apply to every day and are things that we should be asking! St. Ignatius’s questions, like Wesley’s, help us to be intentional about being aware of God’s presence and to discover where God is calling us to be. Prayerfully reflecting on either set of questions will, no doubt, bring about spiritual growth.
As we embark on an Advent journey together, I encourage you to use some of these questions to help you see how God is present in your life. This season of Advent is all about preparing for God’s love. Let us be people who intentionally seek to strengthen our relationship with God, so that we might more readily receive that love and share it with others.
I plan on beginning the practice of journaling with these questions in mind to strengthen my journey. What about you?
Blessings friends,
Pastor Nicole